EDITORIAL: Breaking Toxic LGBT Dating Trends

Let’s be real.

Ang dating scene sa LGBT community minsan parang roller coaster na walang seatbelt. Masaya, mabilis, pero minsan sobrang nakakahilo. And habang lumalawak ang acceptance at visibility natin, may mga habits pa rin tayong dala-dala na, honestly, hindi na healthy para sa atin o sa mga nakakadate natin.

Unang–una, andiyan ang Replace Culture. Yung tipong isang swipe lang, next! Kapag may slight misunderstanding, bye!

Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, at yung bigla na lang mawawala na parang bula. Na parang naging normal na. Ang problema, hindi laro ang feelings ng tao. At hindi rin solusyon ang pagtakbo palayo sa bawat discomfort.

Meron ding Fetishization at Discrimination sa sariling community. Preferences are natural, oo. Pero kapag may mga linyang “no femmes,” “no fats,” “straight-acting only,” hindi na preference yun. That is more of something harmful. Sinasaktan natin ang isa’t isa sa pamamagitan ng mga salita na paulit-ulit nang ginagamit laban sa atin sa labas ng community.

Kasunod nito ang Pressure to be Perfect. Kailangan fit, flawless, funny, emotionally available pero hindi “too needy.” Kaya maraming nauuwi sa power games, silent treatment, at mind games sa halip na totoong pag-uusap. Hindi relationship ang tawag doon. Performance yun.

At syempre, hindi mawawala ang Trauma Bonding. Marami sa atin galing sa environments na hindi supportive, kaya minsan nasasanay tayo sa relationships na puno ng emotional ups and downs. Akala natin passion, pero trauma pala. Akala natin love, pero takot lang mag-isa.

Pero eto ang maganda:

KAYA NATIN ITONG BAGUHIN.

Bilang isang community na built on resilience at radical love, kaya nating i-upgrade ang standards natin sa pakikipagrelasyon. Hindi kailangang perfect. Pero dapat safe, honest, respectful, at tunay.

Time to grow up a little.

Time to unlearn what hurts.

Time to love healthier, not harder.

Pride is about waving a flag while choosing better for ourselves, sa puso natin, at sa mga taong pinipili nating mahalin. We all deserve a relationship na hindi toxic, hindi paasa, at hindi nakakasira, pero something that lets us feel seen, valued, and safe.

At oo, possible yun. At oo, deserve mo ‘yon.

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EDITORIAL: Breaking Toxic LGBT Dating Trends

An Editorial by: Jerry Shangyin

FTS LOBO-Chairman of the Board of Directors

Note: This article reflects the author’s own thoughts and interpretations, shaped by personal perspective and experience. It is written with the intention of offering insight, inviting reflection, and opening space for meaningful conversation with readers. While it carries the author’s voice, it also welcomes diverse viewpoints that enrich the dialogue.

Jerry Shangyin is a passionate LGBT advocate and multi-talented person. He is a creative and editorial writer, cartoonist, video editor, book author, and an engaging lecturer. Jerry is also a multilingual, a book collector, and a website developer, blending his love for literature, storytelling, and technology to create meaningful content. His work reflects a commitment to authenticity, social awareness, and creativity, making him a distinctive voice in both the LGBT community and the wider creative and academic landscape.

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